When she pulls him down by his waist he does finally settle some of his weight carefully on her, then groans again at the feel of his erection pressing against her thigh. Force, she's so tiny, she even makes Jedao seem broad and tall by comparison, and it's both exciting and intimidating. She must be so much more delicate, so much easier to hurt, no matter how powerful she is in other ways.
But she feels so kriffing good, soft yet solid beneath him, and he finally dares to let his free hand roam a little. Down her side, to the unfamiliar swell of her hip, the softness of her thigh under layers and layers of petticoats. Then up again, to cautiously caress the side of her breast. He can't keep back another groan at that, and his hips stutter against her, his erection dragging at her thigh again.
The weight of him on top of her is as solid and reassuring as it is
arousing. Touch and affection still feel like a foreign language she's
scrambling to speak fluently as often as not, but Fives has been wrapping
himself around her for months. It's surprisingly easy to take a step past
that, without any of her usual moments of hesitation.
Tris hums appreciatively into his mouth as Fives runs his hand over her
side, then gasps as his hips move and he touches her breast. She shifts
her leg, pressing up into him.
Her hand slips below his shirt and Tris splays warm fingers on his lower
back. In spite of the pressure of her thigh between his legs, there's
nothing hurried or frantic about the movement. Tris just wants to feel skin
rather than fabric.
It's so different from the feel of Jedao or Clark or one of his brothers under him. She's so much smaller, and softer, and then hand splayed over the skin of his back feels tiny and delicate. It's amazing and disorienting and exciting and terrifying... and he wishes he could feel bare skin in turn, but he has no idea where to even start to accomplish that, with all the layers Tris is wearing.
He does pull away a little to work his hand between them, to brush over the spot where he thinks, perhaps, her nipple might be under her dress, though he's not sure if that will be sensitive for her or not. He's not sure what he should do at all, honestly, beyond the kissing, which is really kriffing nice on its own, the feel of her leg pressed against him, giving him something solid to rock against, is amazing, and he'd like to return the favor. Except... she doesn't have a cock and he's not at all sure what she does have that might be sensitive in turn.
The thought's embarrassing and frustrating and he breaks the kiss to look down at her, flushed and a little breathless. "I... what... um... I don't know... where to touch," he mumbles. "What to, uh... to do for you."
He isn't making bad guesses, and Tris arches into Fives' hand when he rubs
at her nipple through her dress. "Breasts," she confirms, her breath
ragged between words, "are good. There's a spot between my legs that I can
point out specifically once we're out of our clothes. General area is
enough for the time being. But I think you could touch me anywhere you
want and I'd be delighted right now."
He isn't the only person with some concerns about the current situation.
Tris kisses the corner of Fives' mouth before she adds hers.
"If you want to have sex now," she tells him, still struggling to catch her
breath, "We should move to my room before this goes further. I... this is
the first time that you've had to worry about getting anyone pregnant, but
it's been long enough since I last had sex that I haven't taken medicine to
prevent pregnancy. I need to get something."
Tris has no idea whether it's even possible to become pregnant on the
Barge. The fact that she isn't aging would seem to suggest not, but she
believes in preparation and precautions whenever possible. Sex is no
exception.
...She'll explain pregnancy if she has to. She hopes he's at least aware
of that much.
"They're very good," he agrees more than a bit raggedly himself, and he thumbs experimentally at her nipple again. The softness under his hand is fascinating. Still, he shifts his hand lower at her words, callouses occasionally catching at the fabric of her dress as he slides it over the equally delightful and unfamiliar softness of her belly, and then finds the apex of her thighs as best he can through the layers of dress and petticoats.
It's... almost distressingly strange to feel nothing there, no cock be it hard or soft, no heft of a man's balls, though he's known for quite some time that there wouldn't be. It's still startling to feel first hand, but also... curious, and he presses, lightly, experimentally, wondering just what spot and what motion might be correct.
He's derailed from the entire idea of exploration by her next words, though, and he draws back with a hitched breath. "I-" He presses his lips together, swallows, wonders why the very suggestion of it hits him so hard. "I don't even know if we can," he finally admits. "Get someone pregnant, I mean." He does, at least, have a somewhat rudimentary grasp of the natural order of things, though a great deal of it is, in fact, from breach memories.
"So, uh... yeah. Just in case. That... it would be-" He stops, a little strangled, a lot flushed. Both by the prospect of actually having sex. With a woman. And the previously completely unconsidered question of whether he ever could father a child. He doesn't have the first idea what to make of the complex stew of emotions they both bring up, so he shoves them determinedly away. "I'd like... if you want to."
Tris groans at his thumb on her breast, shivers as his hand shifts lower,
and shifts her hips against his hand.
Then she goes utterly still when he draws back, because that
possibility hadn't actually occurred to her until he said it. It seems
sickeningly plausible. Of course he doesn't know, unless Fives was ever
privy to files on what the Kaminoans did to him and all of his brothers.
And why would he be? They considered him an object, not a person. He
never had the right of information or consent for their manipulations.
Tris reaches down to take his hand, tilts her head up to rest her forehead
against his.
"I'm not sure anyone can on the Barge. I just prefer to be
careful." And... she can't quite bring herself to leave the rest of it
unaddressed, even if Fives tries to. She kisses him once, quick and fierce
with the edge of her anger at everyone involved in creating him. "You'll
have more children than you know what to do with once you leave, and
biology is the least important part of what makes a family."
Fives knows what her birth family was like, and how important the family
that found and chose her is by comparison. He knows that she gave up her
name to choose one that she could share with someone who loved her
instead. Those words are anything but empty, coming from Tris.
"No, it's... don't worry, I know," he assures her quickly, even though he does feel some small, irrational sense of distress at the thought. Really, he should just be grateful that no one had thought it would be more efficient to make them sexually nonfunctional at all, regardless of whether they're sterile or not.
He smiles at her, and while there's a faint edge of discomfort to it it's still warm, and soft, and hopeful. "Being careful is important, and we will have more children than we know what to do with." Because he always thinks of that future in terms of we. Of him and Jedao and the vod'ike they're going to rescue. Who needs more family than that?
He has every right to feel distressed by that, and Tris can tell that the
thought will stick with him for awhile. Watching the soft smile bloom on
his face afterward is a reassurance that at least she said the best thing
that could be said, under the circumstances. She squeezes his hand.
"I'm glad they have you and Jedao fighting for them, and determined to make
sure they're cared for after," she tells him sincerely, kissing Fives more
gently this time.
The thought will stick, no matter how much he tells himself it's irrelevant. It's just one more thing about himself he has no real knowledge of or control over, much less important than their rapid aging, or the chips, or their slavery. Jedao's been sterilized by choice, it just means one thing he doesn't have to worry about if it's the case, and he wonders, vaguely, if he should find out... then pushes it ruthlessly aside again.
It doesn't matter, but especially not here and now, with Tris's lips against his and the sweet solidity of her against him. He wraps his arms around her and holds her close, kisses her slow and sweet and deep, and makes a quiet sound of satisfaction.
Tris tightens one arm around Fives again as he deepens the kiss, cradling
the back of his head with her other hand. She melts against him. This
kiss is thorough and sincere in a way that makes her feel safe and
comfortable as much as it makes her want to get him into bed.
When she finally needs air, Tris scarcely moves away at all. She just asks
breathlessly, her lips brushing against his once or twice, "Should we go
now? We can do, or not do, whatever you'd like, but we have more options
if we move to my cabin."
Even setting aside the matter of protection, she isn't actually comfortable
getting out of any of her clothes in a public part of the ship. Not even
the Enclosure.
Fives presses their foreheads together, smiling against her lips. He's too engrossed in her just now to let any of the rest of it intrude again and ruin this moment. "Definitely."
He kisses her again, just a short sweet peck to her lips and then her nose and forehead, with a playfulness that he's learned from Jedao, and then without waiting he swings his leg back over her so he can crouch at her side, slips his arms under her at shoulders and knees, and stands, lifting her with him with a broad smile and no apparent effort. That's another thing he's learned from Jedao, who adores being manhandled.
"Oh," Tris blushes as Fives lifts her, though her arm wraps around his
shoulders instinctively. There's something intensely uncomfortable about
the vulnerability and dependence inherent in letting anyone carry her.
Particularly publicly. She's never allowed that unless she was injured,
exhausted, or death tolling. Tris doesn't intend to make a secret of
anything that happens between her and Fives, but every instinct she has
tells her to walk to her cabin on her own two feet.
She knows, though, that it's mostly stubbornness and pride. Those do no
one any good, least of all her. She'll try to get over them. And if she's
going to freeze up, she owes Fives an explanation.
"I," she says, haltingly, "I like you holding me. I'm self
sufficient to the point of stubbornness, though. I don't mind you carrying
me back to my room today, but I'd rather you don't pick me up in the future
unless I really can't walk. In public, at least. When we're alone, go
ahead."
Being vulnerable around Fives is alright. Being potentially vulnerable
around anyone on board is rather a different matter, even if she knows
logically that this is a silly place to draw that line.
One advantage to being held where she is right now, at least, is that she's
very conveniently placed to lean in a few inches and kiss the side of
Fives' neck.
He notices the freezing, of course, and listens solemnly to her explanation... and then beams at the kiss to the side of his neck. "How about if I just do this, then?" he asks, and laughs as he abruptly spins around and around in a circle so her hair and her dress, where it drapes over his arm, fly out. He's still laughing when he stops, and he ducks his head to kiss the tip of her nose.
"I think I like making you blush," he confesses. "And I like being able to hold you, too, but I don't need to carry you, especially not if it makes you uncomfortable." Which doesn't mean he puts her down right this second. "You're... a very nice armful," he informs her happily, and squeezes her just a bit.
It's frankly impossible to avoid smiling when Fives laughs that way,
genuine and joyful. It's been a long time since she heard or saw Fives
this happy, and it's deeply reassuring.
She isn't going to stop blushing anytime soon, so he can keep enjoying that
reaction. She hides her face momentarily by kissing his neck again,
though, then bites his earlobe lightly.
"I'm still not used to people picking me up like I weigh nothing," Tris
points out, managing a sincere grin on that because Fives has the kind of
happiness that would be infectious even if she weren't delighted on
her own behalf. "You have a wonderful smile, by the way."
Giving compliments doesn't come easily, but she tries.
He tips his head a little when she kisses his neck again, rubbing his bristly cheek against her temple, and his eyes slip shut for a moment when she nips at his earlobe. "But you're so little," he points out, and bounces her lightly in his arms, grinning down at her.
It's not that he doesn't understand she's fat, he just doesn't see it as a problem. Her role isn't to be in top physical form for active combat, her power lies elsewhere and she could best him without so much as raising a hand, so why should she worry about it? Especially when her curves are so nice and she feels so comfortably squishy this way.
It's his turn to blush at the compliment, and he tips his head again, this time to give her a proper kiss, slow and deep and warm, because he doesn't really know what to do with the compliment and this seems like a nice compromise. Then he gives her one more teasing kiss to the tip of her nose and sets her gently down. "Ready to go?"
"I'm short, not little. There's a difference. You're also stronger
than most humans," Tris tells him with a small huff of laughter brought on
more by his endearing enthusiasm than by anything being said.
His response to compliments is pretty much exactly what hers would be, so
it works well enough. She and Hope talked awhile ago, though, about how
difficult it is to put feelings into words, and how important it is to make
an attempt in spite of that. Both of them would much rather fling
themselves into other forms of affection than try to verbally express
emotions. Or try to give or respond to compliments, in Tris's case. She's
doing her best to overcome that.
Kissing is easier, and Tris has already confirmed that she
thoroughly enjoys kissing Fives.
She wraps her arms around him for a few seconds when he puts her down,
pressed tightly up against him, before she pulls away almost reluctantly to
reply, "Now I am."
"Nope, little!" he disagrees cheerfully, though he doesn't argue about his strength and, in fact, grins at her acknowledgment of it. That's something he's proud of, so it's easy to accept. It's also exceptionally easy to get caught up in kissing her. How much softer it is with no stubble, and how much smaller her mouth is, and it's wonderful and strange and he can hardly believe he's allowed this.
He keeps his arms wrapped around her, relishing the the feel of her pressed against him until she pulls away. He sighs a little regretfully then, and looks at their picnic blanket and basket and books. "I guess we have to bring this back with us, don't we?" Much as he'd rather just rush her though the halls and to her room.
Tris raises her eyebrows at Fives. "You're impatient enough that you can't
take the few extra seconds to pick things up before we go?"
She's already bending to put books into the basket, even as she teases
him. "It's not as if it takes any longer to carry these to my cabin than
to walk there without them, you know."
He bends to grab the blanket and fold it over his arm... the promptly adjusts himself because that was really not comfortable. "We'd already be out the door if we hadn't had to stop to get them," he teases back.
"We can get out the door now," she assures him, straightening. "I
trust you've survived the three second delay?"
She isn't going to make a mad dash for her cabin, but she'll walk quicker
than usual. Fives isn't the only person eager to get back there. Of
course, he'll also have to wait an extra couple seconds for her to pick the
lock when they arrive.
"It's been a deeply painful delay," he informs her solemnly as he heads for the door and cancels the program on his way into the hall. He matches his pace to hers, and after a few steps he reaches out almost shyly to take her near hand.
"I'll have to make it up to you somehow, then," Tris promises, grinning,
and she lets Fives take her hand when he reaches for it. She squeezes
affectionately.
As they near her door, she reaches across to offer him the basket. "Hold
this, would you please? I don't have my key, so I need both my hands for a
moment."
At least she's quick with a set of lock picks these days. She's
gotten more practice on the Barge than she had in years beforehand, since
she never bothered asking the Admiral for a spare key and hers is always in
someone else's possession.
Another painful delay she'll have to make up to Fives later, presumably.
Tris can't prevent a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth at the
prospect.
He takes the basket without protest and steps aside to watch her pick the lock. He can't help smiling at how quickly and skillfully she does it. Pretty, smart, talented in all sorts of ways, people in her world must be blind.
He waits very patiently for the few seconds it takes her to get the door open and then, smiling impishly, he crouches down just enough to get his free arm around her waist and lift her up again to carry her through the door. Laughing again, of course.
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But she feels so kriffing good, soft yet solid beneath him, and he finally dares to let his free hand roam a little. Down her side, to the unfamiliar swell of her hip, the softness of her thigh under layers and layers of petticoats. Then up again, to cautiously caress the side of her breast. He can't keep back another groan at that, and his hips stutter against her, his erection dragging at her thigh again.
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The weight of him on top of her is as solid and reassuring as it is arousing. Touch and affection still feel like a foreign language she's scrambling to speak fluently as often as not, but Fives has been wrapping himself around her for months. It's surprisingly easy to take a step past that, without any of her usual moments of hesitation.
Tris hums appreciatively into his mouth as Fives runs his hand over her side, then gasps as his hips move and he touches her breast. She shifts her leg, pressing up into him.
Her hand slips below his shirt and Tris splays warm fingers on his lower back. In spite of the pressure of her thigh between his legs, there's nothing hurried or frantic about the movement. Tris just wants to feel skin rather than fabric.
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He does pull away a little to work his hand between them, to brush over the spot where he thinks, perhaps, her nipple might be under her dress, though he's not sure if that will be sensitive for her or not. He's not sure what he should do at all, honestly, beyond the kissing, which is really kriffing nice on its own, the feel of her leg pressed against him, giving him something solid to rock against, is amazing, and he'd like to return the favor. Except... she doesn't have a cock and he's not at all sure what she does have that might be sensitive in turn.
The thought's embarrassing and frustrating and he breaks the kiss to look down at her, flushed and a little breathless. "I... what... um... I don't know... where to touch," he mumbles. "What to, uh... to do for you."
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He isn't making bad guesses, and Tris arches into Fives' hand when he rubs at her nipple through her dress. "Breasts," she confirms, her breath ragged between words, "are good. There's a spot between my legs that I can point out specifically once we're out of our clothes. General area is enough for the time being. But I think you could touch me anywhere you want and I'd be delighted right now."
He isn't the only person with some concerns about the current situation. Tris kisses the corner of Fives' mouth before she adds hers.
"If you want to have sex now," she tells him, still struggling to catch her breath, "We should move to my room before this goes further. I... this is the first time that you've had to worry about getting anyone pregnant, but it's been long enough since I last had sex that I haven't taken medicine to prevent pregnancy. I need to get something."
Tris has no idea whether it's even possible to become pregnant on the Barge. The fact that she isn't aging would seem to suggest not, but she believes in preparation and precautions whenever possible. Sex is no exception.
...She'll explain pregnancy if she has to. She hopes he's at least aware of that much.
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It's... almost distressingly strange to feel nothing there, no cock be it hard or soft, no heft of a man's balls, though he's known for quite some time that there wouldn't be. It's still startling to feel first hand, but also... curious, and he presses, lightly, experimentally, wondering just what spot and what motion might be correct.
He's derailed from the entire idea of exploration by her next words, though, and he draws back with a hitched breath. "I-" He presses his lips together, swallows, wonders why the very suggestion of it hits him so hard. "I don't even know if we can," he finally admits. "Get someone pregnant, I mean." He does, at least, have a somewhat rudimentary grasp of the natural order of things, though a great deal of it is, in fact, from breach memories.
"So, uh... yeah. Just in case. That... it would be-" He stops, a little strangled, a lot flushed. Both by the prospect of actually having sex. With a woman. And the previously completely unconsidered question of whether he ever could father a child. He doesn't have the first idea what to make of the complex stew of emotions they both bring up, so he shoves them determinedly away. "I'd like... if you want to."
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Tris groans at his thumb on her breast, shivers as his hand shifts lower, and shifts her hips against his hand.
Then she goes utterly still when he draws back, because that possibility hadn't actually occurred to her until he said it. It seems sickeningly plausible. Of course he doesn't know, unless Fives was ever privy to files on what the Kaminoans did to him and all of his brothers. And why would he be? They considered him an object, not a person. He never had the right of information or consent for their manipulations. Tris reaches down to take his hand, tilts her head up to rest her forehead against his.
"I'm not sure anyone can on the Barge. I just prefer to be careful." And... she can't quite bring herself to leave the rest of it unaddressed, even if Fives tries to. She kisses him once, quick and fierce with the edge of her anger at everyone involved in creating him. "You'll have more children than you know what to do with once you leave, and biology is the least important part of what makes a family."
Fives knows what her birth family was like, and how important the family that found and chose her is by comparison. He knows that she gave up her name to choose one that she could share with someone who loved her instead. Those words are anything but empty, coming from Tris.
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He smiles at her, and while there's a faint edge of discomfort to it it's still warm, and soft, and hopeful. "Being careful is important, and we will have more children than we know what to do with." Because he always thinks of that future in terms of we. Of him and Jedao and the vod'ike they're going to rescue. Who needs more family than that?
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He has every right to feel distressed by that, and Tris can tell that the thought will stick with him for awhile. Watching the soft smile bloom on his face afterward is a reassurance that at least she said the best thing that could be said, under the circumstances. She squeezes his hand.
"I'm glad they have you and Jedao fighting for them, and determined to make sure they're cared for after," she tells him sincerely, kissing Fives more gently this time.
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It doesn't matter, but especially not here and now, with Tris's lips against his and the sweet solidity of her against him. He wraps his arms around her and holds her close, kisses her slow and sweet and deep, and makes a quiet sound of satisfaction.
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Tris tightens one arm around Fives again as he deepens the kiss, cradling the back of his head with her other hand. She melts against him. This kiss is thorough and sincere in a way that makes her feel safe and comfortable as much as it makes her want to get him into bed.
When she finally needs air, Tris scarcely moves away at all. She just asks breathlessly, her lips brushing against his once or twice, "Should we go now? We can do, or not do, whatever you'd like, but we have more options if we move to my cabin."
Even setting aside the matter of protection, she isn't actually comfortable getting out of any of her clothes in a public part of the ship. Not even the Enclosure.
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He kisses her again, just a short sweet peck to her lips and then her nose and forehead, with a playfulness that he's learned from Jedao, and then without waiting he swings his leg back over her so he can crouch at her side, slips his arms under her at shoulders and knees, and stands, lifting her with him with a broad smile and no apparent effort. That's another thing he's learned from Jedao, who adores being manhandled.
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"Oh," Tris blushes as Fives lifts her, though her arm wraps around his shoulders instinctively. There's something intensely uncomfortable about the vulnerability and dependence inherent in letting anyone carry her. Particularly publicly. She's never allowed that unless she was injured, exhausted, or death tolling. Tris doesn't intend to make a secret of anything that happens between her and Fives, but every instinct she has tells her to walk to her cabin on her own two feet.
She knows, though, that it's mostly stubbornness and pride. Those do no one any good, least of all her. She'll try to get over them. And if she's going to freeze up, she owes Fives an explanation.
"I," she says, haltingly, "I like you holding me. I'm self sufficient to the point of stubbornness, though. I don't mind you carrying me back to my room today, but I'd rather you don't pick me up in the future unless I really can't walk. In public, at least. When we're alone, go ahead."
Being vulnerable around Fives is alright. Being potentially vulnerable around anyone on board is rather a different matter, even if she knows logically that this is a silly place to draw that line.
One advantage to being held where she is right now, at least, is that she's very conveniently placed to lean in a few inches and kiss the side of Fives' neck.
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"I think I like making you blush," he confesses. "And I like being able to hold you, too, but I don't need to carry you, especially not if it makes you uncomfortable." Which doesn't mean he puts her down right this second. "You're... a very nice armful," he informs her happily, and squeezes her just a bit.
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It's frankly impossible to avoid smiling when Fives laughs that way, genuine and joyful. It's been a long time since she heard or saw Fives this happy, and it's deeply reassuring.
She isn't going to stop blushing anytime soon, so he can keep enjoying that reaction. She hides her face momentarily by kissing his neck again, though, then bites his earlobe lightly.
"I'm still not used to people picking me up like I weigh nothing," Tris points out, managing a sincere grin on that because Fives has the kind of happiness that would be infectious even if she weren't delighted on her own behalf. "You have a wonderful smile, by the way."
Giving compliments doesn't come easily, but she tries.
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It's not that he doesn't understand she's fat, he just doesn't see it as a problem. Her role isn't to be in top physical form for active combat, her power lies elsewhere and she could best him without so much as raising a hand, so why should she worry about it? Especially when her curves are so nice and she feels so comfortably squishy this way.
It's his turn to blush at the compliment, and he tips his head again, this time to give her a proper kiss, slow and deep and warm, because he doesn't really know what to do with the compliment and this seems like a nice compromise. Then he gives her one more teasing kiss to the tip of her nose and sets her gently down. "Ready to go?"
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"I'm short, not little. There's a difference. You're also stronger than most humans," Tris tells him with a small huff of laughter brought on more by his endearing enthusiasm than by anything being said.
His response to compliments is pretty much exactly what hers would be, so it works well enough. She and Hope talked awhile ago, though, about how difficult it is to put feelings into words, and how important it is to make an attempt in spite of that. Both of them would much rather fling themselves into other forms of affection than try to verbally express emotions. Or try to give or respond to compliments, in Tris's case. She's doing her best to overcome that.
Kissing is easier, and Tris has already confirmed that she thoroughly enjoys kissing Fives.
She wraps her arms around him for a few seconds when he puts her down, pressed tightly up against him, before she pulls away almost reluctantly to reply, "Now I am."
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He keeps his arms wrapped around her, relishing the the feel of her pressed against him until she pulls away. He sighs a little regretfully then, and looks at their picnic blanket and basket and books. "I guess we have to bring this back with us, don't we?" Much as he'd rather just rush her though the halls and to her room.
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Tris raises her eyebrows at Fives. "You're impatient enough that you can't take the few extra seconds to pick things up before we go?"
She's already bending to put books into the basket, even as she teases him. "It's not as if it takes any longer to carry these to my cabin than to walk there without them, you know."
Library books are not getting returned today.
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"We can get out the door now," she assures him, straightening. "I trust you've survived the three second delay?"
She isn't going to make a mad dash for her cabin, but she'll walk quicker than usual. Fives isn't the only person eager to get back there. Of course, he'll also have to wait an extra couple seconds for her to pick the lock when they arrive.
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"I'll have to make it up to you somehow, then," Tris promises, grinning, and she lets Fives take her hand when he reaches for it. She squeezes affectionately.
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As they near her door, she reaches across to offer him the basket. "Hold this, would you please? I don't have my key, so I need both my hands for a moment."
At least she's quick with a set of lock picks these days. She's gotten more practice on the Barge than she had in years beforehand, since she never bothered asking the Admiral for a spare key and hers is always in someone else's possession.
Another painful delay she'll have to make up to Fives later, presumably. Tris can't prevent a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth at the prospect.
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He waits very patiently for the few seconds it takes her to get the door open and then, smiling impishly, he crouches down just enough to get his free arm around her waist and lift her up again to carry her through the door. Laughing again, of course.
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