stormandwind | INBOX: lastvoyages

Maybe she will. But she thinks, maybe, selfishly, she doesn't want to choose, and maybe won't have to. But this isn't about Shiro, not entirely. It's about Tris, too. She's part of Shiro's decision, after all; one of the people she doesn't want to give up, doesn't want to say goodbye to forever.

"I get that, kinda. I mean--no one ever said that to me. Mostly they didn't say anything, except Sorae and Rinichirou, and Ganta, but--it's hard. When people tell you you're something so hard you believe them. It's easier to be that thing than what you really are. Or who. Even if people tell you you weren't ever that, or that you aren't anymore." She shifts her head slightly, adjusting to lean against Tris. "But you'll tell them, when you figure out how, I think. And they'll believe you."

"Exactly." Shiro understands, Tris knows, or she probably wouldn't have managed to tell her this. There's a certain shape of assumptions attached to anyone who's different. It's part of the reason Tris and Hope always managed to find a connection even when the specifics of their situations differed drastically.

"I'm glad that you've settled into your own skin, Shiro. That you've figured out what that looks and feels like."

"I'm still figuring it out, I think," she says thoughtfully, looking down at their hands. "But--that's okay, too. I'm not always--happy, about the way I look. Like, I'll forget for a little while about the scars and my eyes and my hair, and I'll feel normal. Credence tells me I'm pretty, and I feel pretty, and it's just...I'm just Shiro. And then someone new comes to the boat who stares too long or can't look at all, and it's just--it shouldn't matter. I think I know that. But sometimes it does." And sometimes it sucks.

"That's a familiar feeling," Tris agrees softly, squeezing Shiro's hand. "You're very pretty, and you're a lot of things that are more important besides. Anyone who matters will agree on that. But it still stings when people stare."

"Yeah." It does sting, and there are moments where she wishes again that she looked normal, more like other people, but those moments come less and less these days.

"Helps there's--people I trust, here. To tell me things like that. Like...even if I don't feel pretty, or useful, or anything. I know you're really smart and you don't just say things to say them, so even if I don't feel it, I know I can believe you. You know? Credence, too. Even if--he doesn't say things as much."

Tris is quiet for awhile before she speaks, so that she doesn't have to pause in the middle to grasp for words. Finally, she says quietly but firmly, "You deserve to hear that you're beautiful. And that you're worth loving. Both of those things are true, Shiro. You're also strong, and thoughtful, and good at seeing situations in different ways than most people."

She's as grateful as Shiro for the people she knows will tell her she's worthwhile in every respect. They've been a lot less rare on the Barge than they were in Tris's life before. "Trusting people is hard, but I'm glad you have a few of us that you feel that way about. I'm honored to be one of them."

"You are," she says, affirmation, because some things bear repeating until they're believed. Because some things are true and mean the world. "You're--you were my best friend there, and I think--maybe you are here, too." So of course she'll trust Tris. It's not always easy to trust people, she's right, but it doesn't always have to be hard.

INBOX: lastvoyages

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